Confessions of a Wannabe Lap Dog

Now I’m the king Queen of the swingers house, the jungle neighborhood VIP, I’ve reached the top and had to stop–and that’s what’s botherin’ me!

Oobie doo, I wanna be like YOU. I wanna walk like you, talk like you, too!

Jungle Book? Anyone?

Here’s the real deal, I wish I were a lap dog. In fact, I don’t see why I can’t be. Case in point, I laid on the sofa while my mom watched the Lifetime Casey Anthony movie on Monday night. Talk about a buzzkill.What’s 100 extra pounds when you have an entire sofa?

I also wish I didn’t have to walk on a leash. What’s the harm in running free once in awhile? Not that I don’t like being led around on a rope by my neck, but seriously..can a girl get some freedom? Just to feel the wind in my ears?

And what’s with this people who don’t like Labrador greetings? I think a friendly headbutt right to the crotch is the perfect way to say hello. After all, that’s eye level for me! I’d shake your hand and all, but not having thumbs gets kind of awkward for both of us. Plus, if I’m going to shake your hand, you better give me a damn treat.

Last, but certainly not least…Can anyone explain to me why mom screams out the door for me to “hurry up” while I’m doing my morning business? I don’t paw at her bathroom door when I think she’s taking a long time to…do whatever she does. Don’t even get me started on what I think about those creatures who take shits in a box in the house…

Thanks for all the comments on Kait’s Instagram…it’s hard work being this beautiful.
Labrador, Out.