If I had a million dollars…

I sincerely hope that at least one person now has that kitschy little tune stuck in their head…moving right along.

But really, if I had a million dollars, I’d do a lot of things. And I got to thinking about all of this when I realized how incredibly expensive it can be to plan and execute a wedding. I mean, my gawd, it’s one freaking day. I’ll look back on the photos I’m sure, but let’s be real…I probably won’t remember what brand of liquor I drank or what the window shades looked like. But really, PEOPLE WORRY ABOUT THESE THINGS.

I knew before I started planning a wedding that it would be great to just have some extra money..namely, millions of doll hairs. And what would I do with it? Well, travel of course!

First stop, Venice, Italy. Alright, I admit, I’ve already been here before…twice….but I LOVE THIS CITY. And you will, too, so I’m taking you. While we’re there we will eat and drink a lot, so this probably shouldn’t be our first stop since we’ll be hitting a lot of beaches afterward, but I like to start off with a bang. Go big or go home, right?

You just can’t say no to this view.

While we’re over that way, we’re going to pop on into Thailand. I’ve heard nothing but amazing things, and come on, this photo is straight out of Bridget Marquardt’s Travel Channel beach-sexy show. Sidenote: Only a former playmate can up and decide they’re going to become a pseudo travel agent after being a model for X number of years. Thank you Hollywood. For the record, I actually did watch the show once, which is why I know about its existence, and she was far more tolerable than the squealing that occurred on Girls Next Door. And that overgrown cat, Winnie, wasn’t present, either.

Did anyone else notice that I prefaced Thailand with “over that way”? That is code for, across the Atlantic Ocean and once we get that far, I have no real sense of geography. Dane is laughing his ass off at this very moment.

I digress, once we leave Thailand, we’ll head south and get us at LEAST a week’s stay at one of these luxury huts. I say “we” like I didn’t just admit I have no geography skills and fully believe anyone would travel with me. Bridget is looking better and better here.

That is neither here nor there, because just look at these huts. LOOK AT THEM!

And by my calculations it looks like the Four Seasons Bora Bora isn’t going to run out of room anytime soon for expansion. If you’ve gathered anything from this, its that I will need more than a million dollars.But also, that I really like the coast. And eating.

So when we’re done here, which will likely be more than the allotted week I talked about, we’ll pack up our private plane and jet back to the US, because WE HAVE SOME REALLY COOL PLACES RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN BACKYARD! Yes, it was necessary for me to cap that.

 First stop? Napa Valley. Beautiful weather, good food, wine, and buses that take you from vineyard to vineyard on a glorified grown-up bar tour. Who in their right mind would say no to that?

Is anyone tired yet? Because I’m thinking a couple nights in New Orleans for Mardi Gras would be a great next stop. I’ve always wanted to go and NOLA being this year’s Super Bowl host city only fueled the fire.

Sidenote: Has anyone been? Dane and I are actually considering heading that way (eventually) and I’d love to hear your stories–good, bad, and ugly. I don’t discriminate.

We started with one of my favorite places and we will end our journey in one of my favorite places..Key West, Florida. Grab a beer at Sloppy Joe’s and watch the sunset from the Southernmost Point–I think it’s the perfect relaxation setting after such a whirlwind trip.

So, who’s coming?