I don’t understand why…

<insert fun little intro here>

^ I don’t have time for that, because I’m a woman on a mission and that is to simply get answers from any of you who might have them, kapeesh?

I don’t understand…

…how my sheets get so tangled up in the washing machine and dryer.

…why people cross the street right beside a crosswalk, but not in it. It’s right freaking there!

…how to pencil my eyebrows in. I always look so overdone!

…why my dog is suddenly unable to go outside unless I go with her. See you later, free hour where she’s not velcroed to my side.

…why Photoshop has to be so daggone expensive. And no, I do not want to rent it!

…how to contour my face. Has anyone gotten a contour kit they love? 

…why some people don’t write thank you notes. It’s rude!

…how it’s already been 8 months since our wedding!

…why people refer to their children in months. “Oh, my baby is 12 months old!” No, your child is 1. From now on I’m going to tell people I’m 312 months old and see how they react.

…how I’ve gone this far in my life without being more obsessive over different braided hairstyles.

Okay, so tell me everything, friends! It’s clear I’m in need of some assistance today 🙂