When you step on a plane to/from Hawaii, you know that you’ve got a considerable amount of time ahead of you in that flying bus. The closest land mass (not including other islands) is 5.5 hours away, so it’s best you make the most of this special time.
Let me just set the stage for you on my most recent fly from Seattle back to Honolulu. For starters, I was assigned a middle seat. If there’s a place for someone in hell, it’s the person who designed middle seats on airplanes. As soon as I took my seat, it was apparent there was an theatre improv group flying behind us. I knew this because they were reciting lines from plays, in between reading monologues aloud, and having the others guess which production it belonged to. If you were wondering, this continued for the next 465 hours. (In reality, it was only 5 hours and 45 minutes, but it felt like a damn eternity). And last, but certainly not least, I had banked on ordering the fruit and cheese snack basket on board, because I ran out of time to grab dinner, only to be informed they were out. Gee, that’s just terrific.
So, in place of gnawing off my arm and beating the theatre students with it, I decided to catalog my thoughts.
They are as follows:
Okay, this won’t be so bad, 5 hours and 45 minutes — Thailand was 20, this will be cake.
Hmm..it would be great if we could just reach out altitude already so I can recline this seat.
There’s no way they can continue on with these dialogues the entire flight…right?!
Ahh, finally..the drink cart. I’ll take a triple-vodka-valium on the rocks, please.
::as I recline my seat:: Fuck me…the theatre students are now in surround sound.
Come on self, just fall asleep..
50 minutes later… Guess I’m not falling asleep anytime soon. I’ll just get out my book and read.
It was at this point that the silent-until-now girl beside me started up a conversation about her upcoming mission trip. Admittedly, if you’re sitting beside me on a plane, I probably don’t want to talk to you. But, this girl seemed nice enough and she started up the conversation by asking me if the cast of “MacBeth” behind us was ever going to shut up. 2 hours later when she was still babbling on, I had had enough.
Man, my legs are cramping pretty badly today, I should probably get more water and stretch.
::as a mom walks by with a wailing toddler missing a shoe:: I guess life could be much worse.
I. AM. SO. HUNGRY. I. COULD. SCREAM.
Why doesn’t Alaska Airlines have TV screens on the backs of their seats?
How is it possible that I can guess these Shakespearean plays over the sound of my iPod?
Wait, is that the captain speaking? Are we getting ready to land?
Please Jesus, let me off this plane.
And there you have it, friends, a mini recap of my time spent traveling by air. What is your go-to for passing time on a plane?
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