Good For Her, Not For Me

I’ve had this post swirling around in my brain for a few weeks now and after stumbling across some other blog posts that have similar themes, I figured I ought to put mind to blog post…or something like that.

“Good for her, not for me” is a quote from Amy Poehler in Yes, Please that has really resonated with me since the time I read the book. I’m not always one for ra-ra-you-can-do-it type books (twisted sick shit a la Gillian Flynn is more my M.O.), but this book is a real winner.

Amy goes on to say that you should definitely care about how good you are and how good you feel, but not about how good people think you are or how good people think you’re doing. 

And in those words, it’s so damn simple, right? Be who you are and do what you feel. Other people don’t matter, only your opinion counts…you see where this is going..

But in practice, how easy is this for all of us?

This is all leading me to my topic for today: Comparison.

She will hide in the shadows, lurking, watching and waiting while you relish in your successes and then BAM! When you’re not looking out for her? Here she comes tooting the horns of every person out there…except you.

How I imagine her:

On one hand, I can absolutely say that comparing oneself is the thief of all joy. After all, there is only one you and you’re totally owning it! But isn’t there a small part of all of us that grows by seeing what others are doing? By sharing in their joys and successes, aren’t we, too, succeeding?

I think a lot of these recent comparison posts (Taylor and Sarah, to name a few) really spoke to me, because as bloggers and creatives, it’s nearly impossible not to let comparison take the wheel sometimes. Dare I even admit it’s necessary? I know that I fall into the trap of who’s doing what better and let me be the first to admit..it’s a slippery slope! But more times than not, I leave those conversations with myself feeling a renewed sense of creativity and dreams to do more and reach higher.

Did someone you know recently get a great partnership? Congratulate her.

Did your Instagram friend get re-grammed by a big brand? Let her know how cool you think that is.

Did your friend get her recipe posted somewhere other than her blog? That’s freaking amazing.

Next time you find yourself wallowing in the “what I don’t have” tunnel, look around and relish in all that you do. Make it about them and not you, because I promise…Your time is coming. There is room for all of us here.

Make time to say good for you to someone who deserves it and maybe next time, they’ll be saying it to you.