Things I Don’t Blog About, Vol. II

If you missed the first installment of this series (I guess I can call it that now since here we are with round 2!), I would suggest starting here.

If you’re joining in again — welcome back and thanks for still reading.

Let’s just get right to it and talk about all the things that didn’t make the cut for April.

1. Toenails falling off. Somewhere between taping my nipples and making sure my knees didn’t fall out of socket, I missed the part where runners lose their toenails. I’m now down one on each foot and it’s really quite a sight. I’ll spare you the photos there.

2. We ate a shit load of beets last month. Like to the point where the woman at Costco was like, you’re the Love Beets girl. Yes, I suppose that’s me.

3. My obsession with Dr. Pimple Popper on Instagram. This one should speak for itself, but if you are a fellow popaholic — there is no shame!

4. Bill’s anal glands. I’ve never had a dog that needed their anal glands expressed before, so when Bill started dragging his rear all over my carpet I was like..what gives? I took him off to the vet to see what was going on and sure enough — he needed a little expressing. But, just 5 days later, he was back to dragging. So I asked my vet, who has really become like a family member at this point, what was going on and she goes…”oh, he might just be one of those dogs who needs them expressed pretty regularly. I’ll show you how to do it so you can hook him up at home.” uhhh, excuse me? It involves latex gloves, lubricant and a lot of courage to wiggle your fingers straight up your dog’s ass.

5. In a fit of “we are moving soon, I want to downsize”, I went through my entire closet and found some seriously good gems from my college days and enjoyed showing Dane all the questionable clothing I used to enjoy. With that in mind, I also went through most of my shorts, jeans and pants and realized that since I’ve really been squatting and running, very few of them fit. In that moment, I sort of had a WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON BREAKDOWN. And then as if God was watching, I stumbled across this. So, so true.

Now, that we have all that covered, feel free to tell me something you didn’t blog about!