Blogging feels weird right now and there is no six ways around that. I have gone back and forth between – what is helpful and what is simply content? Every time I go to sit down and write a post, my fingers stall on the keys.
The truth is that in my “day job”, I’ve been working overtime writing and editing and fact checking and finding sources and on and on and on. So my reality is that by the time I have a free moment to create and write here, my mind is a blank slate and my body is tired. You can read a sampling of what I’ve been working on at TODAY.com or We Are The Mighty. I’ve also been working on some lighter content at AllRecipes.com, but it’s safe to say that my days are consumed with news and there are very few moments when I’m not sitting at my desk.
I know that one day we are going to look back on these times with our kids or grandkids and explain to them that it seemed as if the world stalled. And in that stop motion, we got to see true heroes who kept moving like grocery store workers, healthcare professionals, law enforcement officers and let’s be honest – parents who are homeschooling their children – emerge.
I’ve talked to and interviewed so many first responders in the past 10 days, their stories both flow together and stand singularly all saying the same — It’s my job. I signed up to do this.
Exhaustion aside, I’m grateful for the work and I don’t have any complaints, because I recognize that so many are suffering right now and in a position where they can’t work, their business is suffering, they are being pulled in 8 directions trying to juggle life and kids, or they’re just trying to figure out how the bills will still get paid. I’m working on ways in which I can directly help and positively impact people who are suffering, but I’m always open to new suggestions (the only one I can’t do is donate blood due to recent travel to Africa).
The weight of the world feels heavy on my chest 95% of the day. The other 5% is spent trying to go to sleep, letting the dogs out, walking in circles around my neighborhood and talking with Dane about what’s going on outside our home. Dane works in healthcare and splits his time between both a hospital and a medical clinic here, so while we both work in two completely different capacities, we are both consumed with what seems like non-stop information.
When we try to decompress (walk the dogs or read), we both find each other interrupting the other starting with “Have you read…” or “I just got an e-mail that said…”
As far as this blog goes, I’ve chosen to postpone travel posts here for the time being, because it just feels wrong. I know everyone has an opinion on that and that’s totally fine. Just sharing mine 🙂 In terms of other content, I feel like I’m a little bit at a standstill, but it was important to me to catalog this uncertain time here on the blog, because I know one day when I’ve printed this space into a hard copy of sorts, I’ll want to remember this chapter for what it was.
Anne over at Anne In Residence has been doing weekly “check-ins” of sorts and I love how she categorizes her highs and lows of social distancing, talking about her ‘good things’ and ‘bummers’ has been both relatable and comforting. In the spirit of her post idea and trying to wrap my own mind around what is happening, here are a few of mine:
Best thing I’ve read this week: In the midst of the chaos, it seems like there is some true good coming out of this, or at least some heartwarming moments. Shelter pets are being fostered and adopted by the hundreds and a 101-year-old in Italy leaves the hospital after recovering.
Best thing I’ve watched: I love this mashup of Brian Williams and Lester Holt rapping together and is anyone else tuning into Tiger King on Netflix? That show is a train wreck, but I can’t stop. We have one episode left and I have A LOT of questions.
Best moment of the week: Almost everyone I know is on Marco Polo right now (family included!), so it’s been great to wake up to their “FaceTime voicemails” nearly every morning.
I’ve been keeping a journal of my daily talks with my grandma since all of this started and I had a startling realization this week when she made mention of “if I live through this”. I can’t go there right now mentally, but it was a wake up call of the worst kind.
In all honesty, much of this week felt really heavy as the second week of “staying at home” came into full focus and the enormity of “just how long will this go on?” played on repeat in my mind. My day-to-day is much of the same (I normally work from home), but I don’t think I truly realized how much weight going out in the evenings and weekends carried. I miss being able to hike, go to the beach and socialize with our neighbors.
If you’ve been feeling a little down or perhaps discouraged, know that you aren’t alone. In a time when it is important for us to physically distance ourselves from one another, the impact on mental health has not been far from my mind. I genuinely hope everyone is staying well and coping as best as we all know how in this unprecedented time.