In my love story above, I make mention of the following… “Most people would agree that relationships flourish when two people can agree on most things and enjoy the same activities…” Today, I will debunk these myths when I link up with Taylor & Bon for WHY WE WORK.
On social media, it’s really easy to paint a portrait of a perfect love story where no one is ever late for dinner and the trash always gets taken out, you never discuss finances and every weekend you get to go on an exotic trip. And of course, that’s how it is for Dane and I in real life. DUH. We live in Hawaii and life is perfect. The end.
Just kidding 😉
Dane and I “work” because we are different.
1. We understand that no real relationship ever proved successful in agreeing on everything, so there are a lot of things we agree to disagree on, such as: camping is not any form of vacation (it is straight torture), shopping counts as cardio and “I just have to pick one thing up at Target” is code for “I’ll be spending no less than $50 on useless shit.” Daily, new things get added to this list–AND THAT IS OKAY.
2. Fighting is healthy. If I piss Dane off, he’s going to tell me about it, not stew in a corner until a bunch of meaningless somethings come up and he explodes over something as stupid as me putting his favorite v-neck in the dryer. Not that I’ve ever done that before.
This is an area Dane has taught me a thing or two. I’m a stewer. I let little things go, because I reason with myself that “Oh, it’s just a small thing–don’t overreact Kait.” But then one small thing leads to 15 small things and before I know it, it’s a large thing and I’m screaming because Judy got fed at 5:01 instead of 5:00.
3. People make mistakes and truly forgiving them is the only way to move forward. I’m guilty of saying “I’m forgiving you, but not forgetting this.” In fact, Dane has (more than once) referred to me a as a plunger, because I’m notorious for “bringing old shit up”. He understands this weakness of mine and I understand that he, in all his manly glory, is still a person and gets to make mistakes here and there. Strange as it may seem, I make them, too 😉
4. Balance. Dane is a total type-B personality, which really compliments my type-A. Unless, of course, it means we are not 15 minutes early for dinner, because for me, that is on-time.
5. Keep those sparks flying.Our relationship started by writing letters, which is so special to us, and so surprising each other here and there goes a long way for each other. Dane loves to make breakfast in bed for us on the weekends, leave notes on the counter before work and pick up new gluten-free food that catches his eye if he’s at the grocery store. I like to surprise Dane with his favorite meal (that might not be on our monthly calendar), a fun date night or special note on the mirror. Small things reap big benefits–remember that.
And I think the biggest reason that Dane and I work is that our relationship is built on mutual love and respect. Our love doesn’t have expectations or consequences and it’s certainly not perfect, but it’s ours.